The Ranch and its ‘critters’ paled in comparison to today.
We drove around the outskirts of Houston, with me and Samantha on the lookout for places that sold cowboy boots. Miraculously (and with a little help from MacDonalds’ free wifi) we found somewhere, and after some difficult decisions we both purchased a pair. Yay my first purchase.
Sadly it’s far too hot to even contemplate wearing them. It makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it! Still, the jolly old UK will give me plenty of opportunities.
A few hours driving later we arrived in Breaux Bridge. It’s a lovely looking lil town. Full of quaint little shops and cafes. Unfortunately we were here for one thing, and one thing only. The alligator swamp tour.
We turned up got out of the car, and about a minute later Sam discovered a very large spider sitting in its web.
A strange sense of foreboding began to creep over me, as I remembered a canoeing trip in France a couple of years ago. I brushed it aside thinking there was little I could do.
Five minutes later we were seated in a little white motor boat heading out into the swamp. As we chugged along the man explained how the swamp had been formed, and pointed out the two different types of tree that could be found there.
Slowly the trees became more densely packed together (a sign that the water is shallower). My sense of unease returned and I tried not to look around me for the one thing that I feared more than any alligator – Giant spiders! It was no good. Five minutes later we passed under our first web. Stretched between the trees, it hung directly above the boat, and in its centre sat a huge yellow and black spider. It was at least 10cm in circumference, and I couldn’t help but shriek and leap toward Sam in the hope that he might provide some protection. The man was delighted with my patheticness.
We sailed on and I resolved to avoid looking up from now on. The scenery was amazing. There were trees stretching up out of the perfectly still water.
We rounded a corner and stopped in a little clearing. The man pointed to our left, and as we looked into the water we saw an alligator entirely submerged except for its eyes and a small part of its nose. The man then pulled the boat up to the shore, and proceeded to taunt the alligator by poking an oar at it. The alligator began to make an ominous hissing sound, and as the man poked her for the third time, it suddenly lost patience and launched itself at the boat. Here is a link to the video.. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150267897228663 – sadly it’s Mark’s video and I have yet to get it off him!
The alligators were impressive, but my mind was on other things. Horrible eight-legged scuttling things. We resettled ourselves in the boat, and set off back into the heart of the swamp. I tried to ignore the nagging spider fear and enjoy the amazing scenery. It really was amazing. Here are just a couple of the hundreds of photos we took..





Finally it happened. We rounded a corner and the man (I do wish I could remember his name) muttered
“hmm.. looks like nobody’s been through here in a few days”
Ahead of us were 2 giant spiders webs with 2 giant spiders sitting in them, in what I believe was probably an expectant manner. They hung directly above the trees we were heading toward, at more or less face height. We all laughed a little nervously at his teasing as we floated toward them, expecting him to turn back at any second. He didn’t.
I think it is safe to say that at that moment, as I sailed directly underneath them (expecting them to drop down onto me at any second), flattened against the seat and the bottom of the boat I have never been so close to having a heart attack/passing out through fear/curling up and sobbing. This is the photographic evidence.

I didn’t realise that people actually did that scared pose in real life!
Luckily, shortly after that we emerged into the middle of the lake and then spent a leisurely half hour sailing along, with the sun getting lower in the sky, and a cooling breeze soothing away the spider fears.
To sum it up, it was an amazing experience that I never wish to repeat!